[. . . he’s no schmo, he’s PIZZA BOY U.S.A.] “Just a second, girls, while I hit the repeat button. No, I don’t have to. To tell the truth, I can’t hear much, anyway, when it’s — [He’s the new sensation in the nation, he’s PIZZA BOY U.S.A. He’s the . . .] “Sorry about that, girls. That repeat button’s been broken for years. I don’t know why it’s decided to work all of a sud– What’s so funny, Mina? You did? Well, aren’t you the clever one? Thanks! That’s going to save me a ton of time tonight. It’s only 2-1/4 minutes long, so I spend most of my time hitting ‘repeat’. And if it’s not playing when they get here, the customers start yelling at me. Have a piece of pizza on the house, fix-it girl. Oh, I forgot. Well, you can come back any time and help yourself. Now, girls, what can I get for you? Coming up . . . While you’re waiting, though, I don’t think you were here for Wool Week last year, were you, Georgiana? Well, I have this terrific talk that I give. It’s called 10 Wonderful Reasons to Love Wool, and—
“Brighton, I’d love to hear his talk, so I’ll meet you back at the Sheep Shop.”
“Ahem. 10 Wonderful Reasons to Love Wool. #1 . . .”
“Right-o, star reporter! Triple toppings for you, and thanks for being part of the audience again. Boy, you really like pizza, don’t you? Which toppings do you want this time? Coming up!”
“What do you think, girls? Did I capture the real Bunty? Just one more line around the hair and . . . voila! You ready, Priscilla? Hop into the chair, and we’ll get started. Oh, I don’t mean to sound like I’m rushing anyone. Sorry.”
“How’s it going for you guys over at P&E? Uh-huh, I heard. It always happens at the worst time, doesn’t it? Did you lose much? Well, a little creme fraiche isn’t going to spoil the fun? Get it? Spoil the fun? As in, spoiled food. Never mind. A joke isn’t funny when you have to explain it. I’ll bet we’re getting close to the time for fireworks, aren’t we? I can hardly wait. I’ve never seen fireworks over the ocean before. Almost done.” Giggling. “Oh, my word. It’s okay to scratch your nose and smile, Priscilla. Henry, do something to make her smile. Okay, okay. Not that much. I said smile, not laugh. You’re a real joker, aren’t you? Nice to see everyone having so much fun. No, I haven’t had a pretzel, yet, but Livie’s on her way to get one. I’m sure she’ll bring something back for me. No, really, Henry. She’ll bring me something. Thanks for the offer, though.”
“One pretzel, please, George. And could you put together a to-go bag for my sister with the same? Thanks. I’m gonna walk around while I eat mine, so I’ll stop back for hers a little later, okay? Oh, it is a wonderful Wool Week. In this cup? It’s hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows. I just can’t resist hot chocolate. And it’s gluten free, you know, so I can drink as much as I want. Thanks, but just put my change in the RBST donation can.”
“Oh, Pete, excuse me. I’m sorry, George. I’m standing here gabbing while you have customers waiting to be served. Please, Pete, step right up. Oops! Uh-oh!”
“Oh! Aaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
“Mina, grab her hot chocolate, so she doesn’t burn herself. I’ve got ya, Livie! Don’t worry about the pretzel. I’m right behind ya.”
“Don’t worry, George has a lot of pretzels left. And you didn’t spill a drop of your cocoa. Hey, Mina, can you clear a nice spot on the bench for Liv? Now, let’s you get you up. Upsa-daisy.”
“Boy, that was scary! What in the world did I trip over? Sorry, Pete.”
“There you go. All cleaned up. And don’t forget your sister’s to-go snack. Now, Mina, how ’bout we get back to those fireworks?”